I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
