cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
