Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Randomize
