I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
