I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
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