at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
you had me at cake vodka
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
