Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
