why didn't you poke me back
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize