I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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