Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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