Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
