OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
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she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
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Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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