She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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