Don't you send me to vm
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
