i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Boobs speak an international language.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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