3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
