Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
