it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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