why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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