Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
