is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
