put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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