you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
My life is pants optional.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
