Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
