Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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