A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
