porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I bet he comes in French.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
