He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Randomize
