Please, let me fuck your mom
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Randomize
