And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
