i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Randomize
