Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
