she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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