I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.