Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today

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  (508): well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today http://tfl.nu/xvys
  Replies (0) Good night (557) Bad night (1831) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.

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  (631): the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke. http://tfl.nu/6ulb
  Replies (27) Good night (708) Bad night (3871) Order T-Shirt
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  (786): View more from Florida

  I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.

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  (786): I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction. http://tfl.nu/2rxz
  Replies (58) Good night (1116) Bad night (7157) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.

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  (404): Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm. http://tfl.nu/cydy
  Replies (12) Good night (6046) Bad night (893) Order T-Shirt
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later

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  (336): maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later http://tfl.nu/sccq
  Replies (18) Good night (684) Bad night (3357) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue

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  (516): He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue http://tfl.nu/ydk6
  Replies (6) Good night (5461) Bad night (756) Order T-Shirt
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.

  (1-270): View more from Kentucky

  I miss high conversations.

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Swinging. Is. Amazing.

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  (270): I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high. (1-270): I miss high conversations. (270): Swinging. Is. Amazing. http://tfl.nu/qk9i
  Replies (5) Good night (2160) Bad night (1236)
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  (682): View more from Texas

  I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face

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  (682): I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face http://tfl.nu/zwwu
  Replies (16) Good night (5254) Bad night (891) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.

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  (916): New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know. http://tfl.nu/vjk4
  Replies (1) Good night (1380) Bad night (403) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.

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  (406): I would watch the shit out of some full house right now. http://tfl.nu/5ksj
  Replies (6) Good night (1968) Bad night (458) Order T-Shirt
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  (972): View more from Texas

  we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry

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  (972): we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry http://tfl.nu/ax9j
  Replies (8) Good night (411) Bad night (2042) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".

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  (509): Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable". http://tfl.nu/w1e1
  Replies (18) Good night (1477) Bad night (413) Order T-Shirt
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  (347): View more from New York

  maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life

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  (347): maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life http://tfl.nu/rmnc
  Replies (4) Good night (359) Bad night (860) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.

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  (913): Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me. http://tfl.nu/qrex
  Replies (7) Good night (336) Bad night (826) Order T-Shirt
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was

  (1-250): View more from British Columbia

  Thats why they were on the balcony!

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  (250): i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was (1-250): Thats why they were on the balcony! http://tfl.nu/y0xc
  Replies (0) Good night (1263) Bad night (235)

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