Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Randomize
