I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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