I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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