mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
