Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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