About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
