Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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