i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
