Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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