Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
