shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
they call him Oral-B. enough said
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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