We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
