this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
