If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
