Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
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