how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
so let's talk penis.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
