The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
