I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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