are you still at the devil's house?
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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