she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
