Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
