Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
