We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
