I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
