Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
