dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
