We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Randomize
