I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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