i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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