sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
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