things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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