I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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