Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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