just come out here and I will go home with you...
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Terrible idea I love it
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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